Category Archives: Awareness

Tiff Lin’s Happiness Project

I must acknowledge my Enneagram Type 7 – fear of anxiety/missing out on new experiences/impulsive escapist attitude

“Sevens attempt to control their level of anxiety by keeping their attention occupied with ideas and possibilities that excite them. They keep their mind full of activities that they can look forward to, positive experiences that they know they will enjoy. Every time anxiety rears its head, Sevens are ready with a new adventure, a new book, a workshop they plan to attend, or an exciting new relationship. As long as they can keep their attention occupied with positive expectations, Sevens can hold their pain and anxiety at bay. They do not want to deal with their anxiety or examine its causes in their lives because doing so draws them inward, making them more anxious, while extroversion pulls them outward, toward the environment, repressing anxiety, at least temporarily. They discover that the distractions which their activities provide repress anxiety whenever it threatens to erupt into consciousness, but that they need to keep searching for exciting activities to keep themselves safe from their inner distress. They therefore throw themselves into more and more experiences to avoid having to face anxiety or any feeling of unhappiness…”

The problem is that the more Sevens fill up their minds anticipating the fun they will have in the future, the less they are in touch with whatever experience they are having in the present

The more anxious they get, the more they distract themselves by anticipating the future and the less their experiences serve to quell their anxiety. Sevens keep fleeing outward into the world of experience as they try to outrun the fear and hurt inside them. But the more they flee, the bigger the thrills they need and the harder they are to sustain.

Well…folks, I already knew this about myself. But knowing is half the battle. Knowledge is nothing. Action is everything.

and i’ve had just the SLAP TO REALITY that i’ve needed to take myself seriously.

The truth: ITS BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE I’VE WALKED.

As of May 28, I’ve been in the hospital for a total of 15 days bedridden and went through 3 surgeries and got pumped with IVs in 6 different places. I’m currently still going to the hospital everyday for hyperbaric oxygen therapy to repair cells/quicken the healing process. I’ve placed myself willingly under house arrest for a total of 3-4 weeks.

I’m at the point where I don’t really want to talk about it because this has been the story I’ve repeated over and over again…to 6 different doctors and to the rest of my worried friends and family from Taiwan and the US.

The main point is- that i’ve learned (the hard way) that I do things to myself without understanding consequences. I think I’m invincible to pain but then I learn that the human body has a funny way of catching up to you before you realize it.

But i’ve grown stronger in a way. Mentally speaking. Anyway, these are just some insights that I’ve taken from reading a book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben that led me to seek out truth in my own process.

——

I am happy, but I want to be happier/more grateful/less anxious about future/more appreciative of the present.

I’m excited by the environment and respond strongly to my surroundings, throwing myself into the world of experience with enormous vitality. But is this childlike wonder/excitement sustainable?

Living a life of paradox

I want to change myself but accept myself
I want to take myself less seriously but also take myself more seriously
I wanted to use my time productively  but also have time to wander and play
I want to live in the moment but not worry that day-by-day is going to waste

So how do you change without having to change at all?

Follow commandments/principles

  1.     Be yourself
  2.     let it go
  3.     act the way I want to feel
  4.     do it now
  5.     be fair
  6.     enjoy the process
  7.     lighten up / cheer up / be silly
  8.     do what ought to be done
  9.     no comparisons or calculations
  10. there is only love
  11. forget the past
  12. spread joy
  13. never bother with people who don’t matter
  14. stay in touch
  15. life is fleeting
  16. create something that wasn’t there before
  17.  stop collecting useless crap
  18. make mistakes
  19. Give thanks: for the ordinary and the extraordinary
  20. create something that wasn’t there before
  21. Choose not to take things personally
  22. This too shall pass
  23. I am already enough
  24. What do I really, really, really want
  25. Keep it simple
  26. If you can’t get out of it, get into it

If I had to pick 10

1. Be Tiff Lin – be comfortable with yourself and know your limits
2. Do good, feel good – when you do a good selfless deed, you feel it lift you up
3. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
4. Always arrive on time – it’s a sign of respect and is the first step towards being true to your word
5. Inspire and be inspired – teach and learn simultaneously- share/exchange
6. Life is simple- don’t overthink/assume – you can’t predict everything
7. Listen to others and accept them for who they are despite their differences= everyone has a story
8. Be more patient and generous with time – small steps equate to big changes
9. Be a powerhouse of energy for others to follow- mental/body/spiritual
10. Enjoy the moment for it might be your last

Secrets of Adulthood

1. its okay to ask for help
2. do good, feel good
3. its important to be nice to everyone
4. people don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think
5. what you do every day matters more than what you do once in awhile
6. consistency and routine and healthy daily habits count more

Why study happiness?

Happiness can prepare you for adversity- to develop the self-discipline and the mental habits to deal with a  bad thing when it happens
Happiness can prepare your mind to be mentally strong

THE CHALLENGE

Having now being forced to be indoors during recovery, I have to find other alternative options to substitute what once made me happy (expressing myself through movement/activity/constant stimulation/meeting strangers and hearing stories) and to find another way to be constantly stimulated (drawing, writing, painting, poetry, reading, decluttering, personal projects)

MIND OVER BODY BETCHES!

I’ll dedicate a post on each. It’s been fun in a way. Learning that with focus I can do quite a lot.

Everyday is hard. Every morning I wake up, I have to remind myself that happiness is a choice. And put myself through “my process”

But it’s still been a learning journey and that’s all I can ask for of myself. at this present time.

 

 

Just Start

I acknowledge that I am my own worst enemy.

For months now, I’ve been working on myself. I mean isn’t that the point of traveling? Couch/bed/floor/beanbag surfing 19 different cities on 20+ different surfaces with +20 or so different modes of transportation in a span of 2 months? Ridiculous…these numbers mean nothing to me now and in fact paint an entirely different story to what I can recall was an amazing well use of time/budget. Numbers just seem like a point of validation. And I’m beginning to understand that validation is what ha(s)(d) define(s)(d) me (middle child Taiwan-born American-raised born in unconventional family circumstances seeking for attention/understanding?) for the majority of my life.

“Life is full of beautiful yet fleeting moments” That’s the mantra that I had chanted on my independent travel abroad prior to coming to Taiwan (to study Chinese for 3 months/reunite with family). Fleeting is right. Yet right now on this cold rainy night …I’m kicking myself for feeling this creeping inexplicable emptiness…its a sense of shame and guilt that this phase of my journey may be considered “the beginning” or “the end” …and its this uncertainty that I don’t know exactly how to react to anymore. At first, I thrived on it, but now i’m not so sure. The emotion of “emptiness” had just left me as I am writing this sentence. Because as soon as I’ve done typing…i’m looking back and just literally scoffing at myself for how pathetic it sounds. There you go. fleeting. its ups and lows here. its weird.

i think it’s because this is the 4th month i’m in Taiwan yet I feel like I have nothing tangible to show for it.

Wonder/Ponder Moment: Why is it so easy for me to be the highest ideal of myself when I know that I’ll be leaving within a week span? I pride in myself that I have the ability to connect with so many people on so many levels and feel completely free…to be the weird little kid captured in awe over everything new about my surroundings …to revel/shake people up  to see and appreciate their  environment with new eyes.

YOU HAVE STARS! INFINITE STARS ABOVE YOUR EYES” – I scream, to my CS host in Queenstown, NZ. It was a beautiful moment and an amazing sight, walking uphill for 10 minutes back home gazing up at the pitch black starry sky…Having lived in NYC for the past 6 years, you begin to forget that theres another universe out there….all you have to do is look up.

 

SO…i’m starting over. Taiwan is a really interesting place to live right now. But i find the Taiwanese don’t understand. I want to explore this further. How? Well, thats thinking too much already. I need to just do for now.

I think the first 3 months was a lot about me adapting to something “Stable” “routine”..but I’ve taken many personality tests and even the DISC (a dedicated post on that later) to see that i demand a fast paced environment where I’m encouraged to constantly learn and inquire. I seek freedom from routine, control, and minutia ….so why fight it? My lifestyle is comfortable right now…and i struggle with that.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (emphasis on ambition/risk/adventure) vs Be content and happy where you are right now. Live in the present (emphasize Mind Zen). i fight both constantly.

but i digress….(shit i think this whole post has just been a lot of digressions huh?)

Back to the point of writing “I acknowledge that I am my own worst enemy”

I’ve been meaning to write for a long time but there would always be something holding me back. Another “busy” task I add onto my list. A friend/mentor/lover said “Just start” With a notepad in hand, I’m doing just that.

What I’m working on:

Generally: To focus. To channel my interests. To learn for the sake of learning. To be present and aware of my surroundings. To create. To commit. To ask questions. To observe. To listen. To see with new eyes. To write

Specifically: My website. My photography. My videos via Google Glass. My chinese. Piano. Cultivating relationships. Saying “no” . Priorities. Myself.

ah, its good to get that out of there. 

I acknowledge that I am not the best comprehensive writer. That i am a bit scatter brained. That I do tend to think too much…and can sometimes find myself lost in the infinite abyss of my endless mind….but then again, this is me, for me….

You have the option to x out whenever you want.

tomorrow, i’m sure i’ll read this and shake my head in embarrassment. but then ill bask in it. and move on.

you gotta start somewhere. What are we without our words? You declare something to the world and its one step closer to making it happen.

start

such is life.

 

Multipotentialite- Passionately Curious

quote

I stumbled upon this blog by Good.Co this afternoon titled “Are you a Multipotentialite?”

The first sentence basically sold me.

“If you were to draw out your ideal career path, would it look more like a tree than a straight line?”

A tree…a jungle gym…a grapevine. I’m nodding vigorously at this point.

This is the Wiki definition of a Multipotentialite:

“An educational and psychological term referring to a pattern found among intellectually gifted individuals. [Multipotentialites] generally have diverse interests across numerous domains and may be capable of success in many endeavors or professions, they are confronted with unique decisions as a result of these choices.”

I don’t think that I am “intellectually gifted” by any means, I’m more of a generalist than anything, but I do resonate with the nothin that I can be successful in many different professions unlimited to one lifetime.

REFLECTION:

Looking back, I don’t remember much from my academic career at NYU Stern. I can say coming out I had the yellow string on my grad cap, B.S. in Marketing and International Business/minor in Business of Media, Entertainment, and Technology. But what does all that even really mean or translate to? Affirmation that I will come out knowing more about myself and my career decisions in the business world? LOL.

If there is one thing that I enjoyed about my college career, I’d have to say it was going to my internships. When I wasn’t in school busting out 20 credits/semester worth of study time, I’d devote 20 hours/week to provide some sort of arbitrary value to a company. It was what I looked forward to.

I’ve worked for 11 companies the past 6 years. Dabbled in PR/Media Planning/Brand Management/Office Manager/Retail Marketing/Market Research/Digital Marketing/Product Development/Social Media/Operations/Project Management. I say dabbled in for a reason.

Here’s my resume

Someone in an interview last year had called me out for being a “generalist.”

I have now come to terms with that.

I LOVED the non-commitment temporary exposure, knowing that it was a “no hard feelings if I leave” “I’m going to get what I put in” sort of contract. Being labeled in the office as “the intern who had just biked in the rain to rush back to 6 PM class..that girl cray.” I would make myself remembered. But at the same time, it would be a “on to the next” sort of process for me.

During my last day on the job, I’d receive my praise/thank you’s from my colleagues/managers, would give the “thank you for xyz, exposure to kdz, keep in touch mkay?”. Meanwhile, I’d think to myself “WELL that was fun while it lasted…not sure if I would ever want to work their full-time…love the people, but I can’t envision that this is what I want to be doing for a  looong time..”

Which makes me then think “What are people driven by? How can people just stick to one thing without thinking about the road not taken? What do I do when I want to do everything?”

Was I really caught up in that NYU Stern ratrace to find a good paying job at a reputable company so that I could prove to my friends and family that “I’M WORTHY”? Yes, in a way that was why I approached my first internship. But it was really because of boredom and this passionate curiosity to explore the infinite unknown that made me want to “go on to the next” without any consequence or acknowledgement to what it could mean for my past, present, future.

I didn’t come out post-grad knowing exactly what I wanted to do but at least I didn’t pigeon-hole myself into a career that I didn’t want in the first place either.

I just do things just to do them.

I’m going to end with the fact that the whole “What do you want to do 5 years” interview question is complete bullshit and everyone knows it.

NOBODY knows what they will be doing 5 years from now. And if they do, they’re lying to themselves. I could see myself in San Francisco being a LYFT driver, working in public relations at a nonprofit, being a personal trainer or SOULcycle instructor, teaching English in Japan, being a photographer and capture dynamics among generations in Taiwan, leading my own bike tourguide service in NYC, volunteering in South Africa, owning a small jazz cafe/bookstore/bikeshop in Denver, being this treeman and starting a movement to create genuine reaction. I want to integrate and connect people.

i can do anything

I’m a scanner. A generalist. A Plate spinner. A polymath. A Multipassionate.

It’s true. I refuse to specialize in, or subscribe the world’s view that one must commit to only one goal, one dream, one profession.

“But”.., Sher advises, “at some point, Scanners who never finish anything should sit down and look at what’s really going on,” “When a Scanner hits a certain wall, they stop. Often, it’s because they’ve lost interest. But sometimes, boredom is actually just a manifestation of subconscious fear. I tell people that they must, at least once a year, push through that anxiety and stick with a project until completion. They need to experience that discipline. And there’s a chance they’ll experience twice as much joy from experiencing that unfamiliar degree of depth.”

I’ll explore this further when the time comes, I’m just too excited that there is now a term to discuss what I am and have been feeling for years.

You have a new passion every week and you wonder what is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong.

The world needs people who can integrate and connect

Your unique mishmash of talents allows you to see what no else can see

Give yourself permission to do it all.

We are not mad, we are not lazy

We are not confused or aimless.

We are MULTIPOTENTIALITES

 

PuttyTribe Manifest0 16x20b

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY LIFE?

First of all, let me preface by saying my TypeSeven- The Enthusiast. personality seems clearer to me than ever.

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.

At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

  • Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain = FOMO. BREAKING BONES
  • Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs
    fulfilled =  SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.

As long as Sevens can keep their minds occupied, especially with projects and positive ideas for the future, they can, to some extent, keep anxiety and negative feelings out of conscious awareness. Likewise, since their thinking is stimulated by activity, Sevens are compelled to stay on the go, moving from one experience to the next, searching for more stimulation. This is not to say that Sevens are “spinning their wheels.” They generally enjoy being practical and getting things done.

On a very deep level, Sevens do not feel that they can find what they really want in life. They therefore tend to try everything—and ultimately may even resort to anything as a substitute for what they are really looking for.

“If I can’t have what will really satisfy me, I’ll enjoy myself anyway. I’ll have all kinds of experiences—that way I will not feel bad about not getting what I really want.”

On the positive side, however, Sevens are extremely optimistic people—exuberant and upbeat. They are endowed with abundant vitality and a desire to fully participate in their lives each day. They are naturally cheerful and good humored, not taking themselves too seriously, or anything else for that matter. As we have seen, the Basic Desire of Sevens is to be satisfied, happy, and fulfilled, and when they are balanced within themselves, their joy and enthusiasm for life naturally affect everyone around them. They remind us of the pure pleasure of existence—the greatest gift of all.

We can see this in action even in the most trivial areas of their daily lives. Unable to decide whether he wants vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream, a Seven will want all three flavors—just to be sure that he does not miss out on the “right” choice. Having two weeks for a vacation and a desire to visit Europe brings a similar quandary. Which countries and cities to visit? Which sites to see? The Seven’s way of dealing with this will be to cram as many different countries, cities, and attractions into his vacation as possible. While they are scrambling after exciting experiences, the real object of their heart’s desire (their personal Rosebud, as it were) may be so deeply buried in their unconscious that they are never really aware of precisely what it is.

^People who have gone out to eat with me or travel by my side can attest to this..I love my options and will exhaust myself in the pursuit of life to try everything…

Reflection– YES, I am impulsive. YES, I like to seek new experiences.

I acknowledge that by doing so much that I spread myself too thin and can never form concrete long-term relationships/commitments.

Currently, this is my level 4/5 as a Type 7. I’m hoping to get to Level 1

Level 4: As restlessness increases, want to have more options and choices available to them. Become adventurous and “worldly wise,” but less focused, constantly seeking new things and experiences: the sophisticate, connoisseur, and consumer. Money, variety, keeping up with the latest trends important.

Level 5: Unable to discriminate what they really need, become hyperactive, unable to say “no” to themselves, throwing self into constant activity. Uninhibited, doing and saying whatever comes to mind: storytelling, flamboyant exaggerations, witty wise-cracking, performing. Fear being bored: in perpetual motion, but do too many things—many ideas but little follow through.

Level 1 (At Their Best): Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life.

I acknowledge my security blanket of having encouraging, free-spirited, “we support your decision to do whatever you want as long as you are happy, healthy, and treat other people with kindness/respect” parents gives me the support to take on higher risk for career/living situation exploration.

I’m undisciplined and scatter-brained. I’m privileged. I’m appreciative. And I am loved.

Also a point of inspiration-
Life is simple. Do the things you love and do it often.

https://i2.wp.com/www.brainpickings.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/holsteemanifesto.jpg

So…..with that all in mind. Literally, all I have been thinking about past month^, I feel wholeheartedly justified in my decision to quit my job.

What spurred it to action was when I had started reading Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg over the weekend. One quote stuck to me “The cost of stability is often diminished opportunity for growth”

I thought of my values, my options, my energy, my passion, my integrity, my time, my commitments and my own definition of “stability”

The next day, I gave my notice.

Your career should be about growth or utilizing your strengths and skill set to better yourself, company, society in the process.  I went for a well-paying job knowing that it was good income, low stress, great people to work with, but soon found out the actual position was not demanding of my self-worth. I worked hard throughout high school and college for a reason…how can I live up to my word and integrity if I’m being inauthentic to myself and compromising my love for learning in the process. The opportunity cost for me is time. The time I could have used to acquire more skills on a professional and personal level.

I feel justified in my decision and walked out of that authentic conversation with my boss feeling more liberated and excited for new possibilities than ever.

I could have stayed longer and may have had a possible promotion (maybe in like 5 years..), but project management and following “process” isn’t for me. Hell, I’m beginning to think a typical 9-6 isn’t for me anymore.

I had my “one year” benchmark to reevaluate my progress/potential for job growth. Assessed the situation. Understood the consequences of my decision.

Now I’m onto the next.

Check out this article by Penelope Trunk, career adviser for 20-something’s

Make life more stable with more frequent job change

Moreover, my understanding of stability is knowing you have a life where you can do what you love, during your whole life, not just at the end.

“Your career is a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

What does “stability” mean to you?

If it means killing yourself to retire early. Get a house. 2.5 kids. dog. pool. backyard. Then by all means, sprint to get there. Who am I to judge?

Studies show that happiness leads to success, not the other way around. A successful career is one that stirs up a certain level of excitement, passion, and happiness in a person. Every person’s exact definition of a successful career is different.

Without adding money or salary into the definition, every person is going to be inspired by a slightly different occupation because individual interests, morals and values vary from person to person. So, ask yourself, do you love what you do or do you just do it to out of fear of being UNreasonable or vulnerable.

Out of fear that if you quit your job, your dream of being x and doing y will be one barrier/excuse less to pursue your dream.

I recognize I’m a job hopper. But don’t worry that my time will be wasted.

So, please when you ask me “why?” or “what are you doing after?”, just know that I’m going to respond by saying “why not?” and “i’m figuring it out now…LIKE RIGHT NOW.”

But really though, I’ll be staying within WeightWatchers until the end of June. Going to California for a week to visit friends/determine whether I should live there in 2 years. Thinking of going on a biking Shikoku pilgramage in Japan in August to gain peace of mind. Go to Taiwan to study Chinese at Shi Da University with my sister from Sept-November to get back to my roots.

Come back, with a fresh mind, and start climbing that jungle gym all over again. STARTUP STYLE.

WISH ME LUCK.

How to be “Great”

I’ve been positively gleaming or glowing these past few days.

The conversation usually starts off as something like this

A: How are you doing?

B: Great, just GREAT!

I can’t even articulate how great it has been which is why I have a goofy smile on my face all of the time.

So I’m going to try this…

What does “great” even mean?

For me, being great or capable of “greatness” means you’ve overcome being “small”

To be great means that instead of asking for “fish”, you’ve requested “fishing”

if I request you to teach me “fishing” I have the power to create much more, albeit potential of failure/rejection/shame.

To be great, means you’ve achieved a breakthrough in performance..whether that be getting recognition/promotion at your job, or finally coming to terms with your sexuality, or being able to run 5 miles without stopping. You’ve come a long way and even when there is nobody on the other end of the finish line to say “hey man, you’re awesome.” You know it in yourself that you’ve achieved something “great.”

I’m in the process of mastering my life to achieve “Greatness” and here is my outline.

1. Making a difference and contribution

  • To be powerful, means you have the ability to inspire “groups”
  • By starting with the individual, you can conquer anything in the world.
  • Take the time to think of what matters to you in your community and dedicate some time to just think of what YOU can do to make a difference, small steps = big changes
  • INDIVIDUAL (alter one’s feelings/emotions) -> RELATIONSHIP -> FAMILY -> GROUPS -> COMMUNITY -> ORGANIZATION -> SOCIETY -> WORLD

2. Mastering reality

  • Being with something exactly the way it is instead of adding/deleting from a statement and constructing a story based on assumptions- adding meaning to nothing.
  • To separate your thoughts, feelings, intuition from what’s real in front of you : What’s happening versus the story
  • To be present instead of letting the past determine your future

3. Mastering identity and ultimately the self

  • As “identity” you can either be part of something or not something. As “self” you are the space in which it all shows up. You are who you show up to other people and your actions are correlated with what is occurring for you…directly influencing how you occur for yourself in dealing with those situations
  • Be unreasonable – Being reasonable means being controlled by your reasons. You may feel compelled to find reasons before you can do something. Being UNreasonable means doing something simply because you are doing it, taking responsibility for it, and enjoying it as it is.
  • Be vocal- Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will open. Just say it/do it and know that whatever the outcome, its better than just sitting around and waiting for “something”
  • Be expressive – To communicate that you are happy instead of saying “I am happy” by self expression is a skill. Perform to your hearts intent without fear of judgment.

Ending with a quote:

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.” – Lawrence Persall Jacks

Live, love, learn,

TIFFLIN(ning)

Social Media: Connect vs Disconnect

Some of these slides I feel are too extreme. I’ll choose to ignore those and focus on the one’s that interest me ..

we are so connected that we are starting to become disconnected

Society is being shaped by the perception of others to form our social self

Social media allows people to empathize their positives. And delete their negatives.

When online we choose what we want to reveal and what’s left out. In order to project the image we want people to have of us.

 

First of all…

I acknowledge that I am guilty of checking-in, Instagramming, texting, checking my email, playing WWF in front of friends/family at a dinner table.

– Why do I do this?

To feel connected? To share my location to the world that I’m here, alive, existing, living life?

Shouldn’t I be connecting to the person who’s right in front of me?

Why is it so important to project the image we want people to have of us?

To show up as carefree, when I’m still trying to battle my self-doubt

To show up as “i don’t care what people think”, when clearly I still am pining for validation for my self-worth 

At the same time, I still believe in the good power of social media and how it can connect communities and people. See Facebook groups/events. Meetup.com, OKC, LinkedIN, Yelp.

But so many people are stil so concerned about living life in a status update. Me included.

Right now, I’m working on being concerned with how my life feels rather than how it looks.

I’ll Instagram to show the world that NYC is not always hustle/bustle, and it is possible you can find moments where people of NYC to stop in moments of awe

I’ll check-in on FourSquare with the intent of finding tips left by locals and even leave a few tips for recommended dishes

I’ll write a great Yelp review because I want to see this business thrive and feel good about contributing to their success after.

I’ll Facebook status update an inspiring quote, a TEDtalk, or maybe a Spartan WOD with the intention to evoke action/reaction

I won’t even care how many times I mupload/tweet/check-in because my actions dictate who I am. I don’t give a fuck.

 

Awareness of Self

Awareness of Self:

Here’s a fun exercise. Go into your room and take note of what is present around you

For me….

  • A cluttered desk piled with papers/receipts/plastic bags/concert tickets
  • An ironing board I took from outside the street with dirty/clean clothes piled on top
  • Mismatched socks on the floor
  • Posters/colors/pictures/decorations covering every inch in my room

Let your awareness take in everything

Ask yourself:

  • Do I see order or disorder?
  • Do I see my uniqueness?
  • Do I see how I really feel?
  • Do I see what I really want?

What does this stand for?

  • inner disorder
  • fear of meeting one’s obligations
  • accepting too much responsibility
  • ignoring mundane details

Conclusion: The environment I surround myself in as I wake up and as I sleep is not conducive for me having peace of mind.

Now step into your social world. When you are with your family or friends, listen with your inner ear to what is going on.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I hear happiness?
  • Does being with these people make me feel alive, alert?
  • Is there an undertone of fatigue, boredom, saying things just to be saying them?
  • Is this just a familiar routine, or are these people really responding to each other?

Are you being authentic with yourself? We fear to be seen as inauthentic sometimes out of fear of being judged/shamed/rejected, so we do things that we don’t really care about doing and say things we don’t 100% believe in saying…and then we end up being, sincere, at best. However sincerity is NOT authenticity. Take a moment and reflect on whether your intuition can pick up on whether a “wow, funny bumping into you here! We’ll have to catch up soon!” is just a sincere go-to response or if there’s a voice of authenticity behind these words…

Feelings

  • At my worst: I feel antsy, restless, want to have more options and choices available. Become adventurous and “worldly wise” but less focused. Uninhibited, fear of being bored, in perpetual motion, but do too many things–many ideas but little follow through
  • At my best, I breathe in my environment and feel totally present and emotionally deeply grateful and appreciative for what I have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Feel connected with the world and everyone in it. Love of people and boundless goodness of life make me want to scream with joy. I’m satisfied with the results that I produce.

Thinking

  • “I know more than I think I do”
  • “I have the tools and the resources to live my dreams but fear of uncertainty is holding me back”
  • “I need to find out what I like and what I don’t like”
  • “I need to get out of my comfort zone”
  • My mind is becoming restless and I want to calm down
  • I need to love and trust myself before I can love anybody else

Actions

  • I am acting out of complete integrity
  • My actions symbolize who I am and why I am here
  • I gave up having control and will react to what will come to me

Being

  • I realize that I am cared for and loved
  • I realize that my life has purpose and that I matter
  • I sense that random events are not random
  • I see that I am unique
  • I realize that life has the ability to run itself
  • I realize with wonder that life is infinitely worthwhile and full of possibilities

– Influences from LandMark Education, The Book of Secrets, Enneagram tests.